My name is Pamela Slaton and I am an adoptee who, with scant information, discovered my birth parents over two decades ago. When I first began my search, there were barely any services available to those looking for clues. Sadly, my own search did not go well for me initially. I was met with a very angry birth mother who I was ill-prepared to find. It crushed me. During that time, I was fortunate enough to find a local adoptee support group that took me under their wings and taught me the search ropes. I started to uncover information that led to my answers. I loved every second of searching and the satisfaction that it gave me. It was then that I learned that I had a gift for finding people when others could not. Call it intuition or my “gut” but I was hooked and my longtime career as a real estate agent took a backseat to my new passion, finding missing people!
Ultimately, my work became my therapy, which gave back to me a tiny slice of happiness with every successful reunion that I helped facilitate.
NEVER GIVE UP HOPE
25 years later, my birth mother showed up at my front door without warning. I had never met my birth mother and we only spoke a few times. I was stunned and in shock. She came to tell me that she was dying and that it was time we met. We headed out to my backyard where we spoke for 7 straight hours. I can only describe that day as healing. Healing for both of us. We looked at each other in amazement. I have her eyes, her sense of humor and her love for decorating and flowers. The next day I woke up feeling lighter. I did not realize the burden I had been carrying all these years. I was certain my own birth mother hated me.
Sadly, my birth mother, Lucille, my Genie passed away in 2021. In a strange way, I owe this career of reuniting people to her. Had things gone well with her, I would have never found my true passion.
PAMELA SLATON INVESTIGATIVE GENEALOGIST/DNA EXPERT
“It’s extremely rewarding to be able to make a phone call and tell someone that their search is over”.
Reconnecting lost loved ones isn’t just work for Pam—it’s personal. “I loved my family, [but] I think there’s a big misconception that people search because they’re lacking something,” she says. “I don’t understand why people don’t understand that basic need to know who gave you life.”
I struck out on my own as an Investigative Genealogist with a “no find, no fee” pay policy, which I believed would help re-establish trust between clients and professional searchers. Pamela OBR the OBR stands for Open Birth Records.
I have successfully solved adoption cases all over the world but specialize primarily in United States cases.
I am emotionally invested in my work because I have been in the shoes of my clients. I realize that there is a lot of anxiety and fear when a search is undertaken, I like to view myself as a support system to my clients through the search process. First, contact is vital in setting the stage for a good reunion and it is important to be prepared. I also help guide my clients through their first contact via phone or letter.
All contact made is done with the highest level of confidentiality.
Over 90% of my cases go very well. I have solved thousands of cases to date.
EMOTIONAL GAMUT OF YOUR BIRTH FAMILY SEARCH
I highly recommend that anyone searching is prepared for a gamut of emotions. Even the most joyous reunions can be complicated. Searching takes mental preparation so that you can assure yourself that you are able to accept any outcome. There are a ton of books out there that give insight into the experiences of adoptees and birthparents.
I am often asked why I involve myself in this type of work after enduring a disastrous reunion. I love what I do wholeheartedly. It gives me great joy to witness my clients having the opportunity after years of searching to finally have closure. The excitement of listening to a happy reunion is something that I never get tired of.
My last thought is that I ask that you never give up. I have witnessed impossible cases that still come together. I truly believe what is meant to happen will if you are persistent.
Good luck to you.
In this poignant and heartwarming narrative, renowned genealogist Pamela Slaton tells the most striking stories from her incredibly successful career of reconnecting adoptees with long-lost birth parents
After a traumatic reunion with her own birth mother, Pamela Slaton realized two things: That she wanted to help other adoptees have happier reunions with their birth families, and that she had the unique skill to do so – a strong ability to find what others could not.