Thinking about how people reaching out to their birth family might be perceived. I have watched countless movies and tv programs that portray the searching Adoptee as an obsessive, ill-intended, and unstable individual. How very untrue! Most of those searching are led by the need to know their backgrounds. Imagine not even knowing your Nationality or Medical Background. But what seems to supersede even that? The desire to find their Birth Mother to say, “Thank You!” “Please do not worry about me any longer!” To extend a heartfelt message of appreciation. How do you go through your life not being able to thank the very woman who gave your life? Who undoubtedly suffered a great deal to bring you into this world and tried to make sure that you were afforded a better life than she felt capable of? Or those moms who were given absolutely no choice? I have been reuniting adoptees for over 25 years. I am often blown away by the people that I find who are not open to contact. FEAR is a huge factor! As though people searching have ulterior motives. I sit helplessly by sometimes as DNA matches become silent when someone confesses that they are adopted and reach out and ask for help. Many times, I am asked “Why is this person searching now after all of these years? ” Well, previously it has been pretty damn hard to find anyone when your birth records are sealed, and DNA wasn’t a “thing”. And while I’m addressing DNA, it still amazes me so much especially after hitting brick walls on some of the most difficult cases over the past 25 years. Suddenly, the DNA matches tell the true story of where we come from, and who our “people” are. So, if you are reading this, be kind, and know the motives of most of us who search and allow for people to have the closure that they need. We are not the crazy people from the movies filled with anger and resentments. We just want to know our stories “our true origins” and extend some gratitude.
Aug 21, 2020
