My heart is so completely touched by my client. Joe also knew my brother from our small town in Queens, NY. He wrote a testimony for my website that blew me away. He realized that having your answers can be healing even without a reunion. I am hopeful Joe’s words will help someone else who might be struggling from not being received with open arms from their birth family. Joe understood the reasons his siblings did not want to open up about their father. It was all too painful. I am so happy that he was able to realize that his father’s absence had nothing to do with him. His father didn’t know how to be one to anyone. Joe has been fighting a hard battle with cancer. Please send him your good wishes. This is his testimonial:
Joe wrote:I was born to a teenage mom in September of 1962. My biological father left after a few days choosing to go back to his wife. I’ve never met my father. Fast forward 59 years. I was diagnosed with terminal cancer. I had made attempts to find my birth father solely for the purpose of asking him “the question “, did you ever wonder what happened to me? I had more reason than ever to seek closure, but more importantly was to find out if there is a history in my family of my cancer. It would help my daughters and grandkids prospectively. I finally decided to take the leap and engage Pam to solve my lifetime mystery. I was shocked to hear from Pam in 2 days. She located my siblings. They chose not to contact me, which I understood. It turns out that my siblings despised our father and wanted to expel all memories of him. I got it. I cannot begin to tell you the magnitude of relief I felt hearing that my biological father’s lack of contact with me wasn’t exclusively channeled to me. He was not a nice person. Pam came back with not just locating for long last family, she provided a whole history of the life I never knew about. I could tell she had done this before because she guided me carefully through every step and told me that these reunions don’t always work out well. She had conversations with the family I’ve never known and broke the news to me tactfully. I have had conversations with people in the same situation as me over the years. I’ve shared the same reasons for not traveling down this road. Don’t know what reaction I will get. Scorn or shunning from the family. Cost. All I can tell you is I threw out all those b********it reasons and did it. Best decision I made in my life. I cannot convey the amount of relief I felt. As my disease is consuming my body and my time on this earth is short, I feel so much better that “it wasn’t me”. Also, my siblings were doing great despite my father’s lack of parenting skills. If you are out there on the fence making excuses for not enlisting Pam’s help you don’t know what you are missing. She helped to channel my lifelong resentment into an act of gratitude. I had prepared my speeches for the day I might meet my biological dad. They weren’t nice. My last speech was to thank him for making me the father I am today. Unfortunately, I never had that conversation as he passed a few years ago. Don’t be afraid of these encounters ending well. They only end up differently than what we envisioned. It appears to be a leap of faith, but it’s really closure, which all of us are seeking. You won’t be disappointed if you follow her directions. Thank you, Pam
