— Donna Ray Compton & David Ray
I had been searching on my own for eight years trying to find my birth family with my non-identifying information. It was a long process of going through year books and town hall trying to find any clue to lead me back to do my family.
I was very active in the adoption community getting all the support that I could navigate my way towards reunion in search.
I ended up giving up searching for years at a time. Frustrated with closed files of adoption in New York. I received an email one day from Pamela explaining to me that she was a researcher & private investigator . At first I didn’t trust the email and she sent me references of families and people she had helped reunite with their families. I ended up calling her referred clients & everybody had rave reviews speaking, the praises of how much she helped navigating the process. I called her back and Pamela asked for my non identifying information to see if she thought she could help me . I did and few days later she called to tell me that she had a lead and thought she could help find my birth parents. I was beyond elated also I didn’t feel so alone in my search with meeting dead ends having someone who truly understood what I was going through. Pamela prepared me for the first phone call and the whole reuniting process giving me advice & emotional support. Im 20 years reunited now and my reunion was one of the best outcomes and helped me heal the deepest parts of my being and I feel wholeness. I have given Pamela’s information to adoptees & birth parents who truly need guidance & search support for their families’ journey.
Thank you so much
Tattooist, Reiki Teacher, Henna & Murals
You are wonderful, I’m glad Darryl found you. You were soooo nurturing, loving and caring to him but then he’s easy to love. You and I haven’t had a chance to talk about how that experience affected me or my side of “The Journey”. When you called Jayyidah, she forgot to give me your message. She was married, raising to sons, working and going to college. It wasn’t until after the first telephone call from Darryl that she remembered some woman had called wanting information about the Lovelace family. She also told me that she had met Darryl. Years ago, she and a friend of her’s went to a studio in Times Square to be in a Ghostbusters II video. She spent about four hours with Run DMC and a group called the Hurricanes. Jayyidah didn’t know she had a brother and Darryl didn’t know he was adopted. I believe, that’s why she was the first person you found. Jayyidah and Darryl’s energy was strong and stayed connected. Divine intervention. I watched the Video again when Jackie said the clip they’re showing is the telephone call and actual reunion. I wasn’t as calm as Darrly thought I was. Like him, I couldn’t breath. My “Inner Child” (the voice in my head) was telling me to “Breath, Breath”. There were lots of thoughts playing and replaying in my head. I was also dealing with my “Inner Child” yelling at me for saying, “it’s possible”. “It’s possible, you know he’s your son, why did you say that, that’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever said. He’s talking to you, answer him, say something”. But, it all went well, it was Real. You probably don’t know, when I spoke to Darryl (Lovelace) the second time he told me he was a musician. I ask him if he played an instrument, he said no he sang and had a few albums out. I was thinking but didn’t say, “if you stick with it maybe you’ll make it”. Surprise, surprise. A thought just came to me; I’m going to write my side of “The Journey” to share with you. What I did after both telephone calls; how I shared the information with my sons who didn’t know they had a brother; how years ago Jayyidah had found out she had a brother; my stopped up toilet sitting in the hall outside the bathroom fifteen minutes before the filming that morning; information my co-workers shared with me; the woman who told me how one of RUN DMC’s albums helped her deal with her father’s suicide; how your reuniting Darryl and me has affected so many people. Thank you again for making my family complete, all my children are together. I’ve added you to my list of, “Earth Angels”.
Take care, we’ll be in touch. xoxo
Love (Lots Of Vital Energy).
Peace, Love & Prosperity
Working with and getting to know Pam has been and is one Run DMC Darryl McDanielsof the most incredible experiences of my life. When I started on my journey to find my birth mom, I was scared and afraid and was at a point of giving up. Pam is not only comforting and understanding, she is encouraging and compassionate all the while maintaining her professionalism and responsibility. Actually, she is like a mother to you. That’s what separates Pam from the pack, she cares about everyone she works for, she just doesn’t work for you, she cares about you and the outcome of your situation. We’ve become good friends.
– DMC of RUN DMC and Sheila Jaffe with children attending Camp Felix, an organization founded by them to help foster children attend camp
My experience working with Pamela is more then special to me because were family. She found my son whom i gave up for adoption 43 years ago. We’ve be reunited now for two years and life couldn’t be better. I have two granddaughters and a beautiful daughter-in-law, my son and i see each other every few months and talk on the phone every day.
Pamela found him in a matter of week’s she’s the best at what she does. God put her here to do good for other’s she blessed my life.
– Joanne Montag
I was contacted by Pamela originally because my biological sister hired her to find me. My sister told me that she had hired another searcher before contacting Pamela, but had gotten nowhere with the original searcher over a period of more than two years. Pamela was able to find me in just a few weeks. I learned from Pamela that my biological mother and father were both still alive and that I had four full-blooded biological sisters (my father was married to someone else when my mother got pregnant, they latter married and had four daughters). The reunion with my mother occurred by telephone on mother’s day this year. Later, my mother visited me in Amsterdam, followed by my sister, then I visited her in Connecticut and met my other three sisters. Since that initial visit in Connecticut, I’ve returned to the US once for a weekend and two of my other sisters have visited me here. One is here visiting me at the moment actually. It’s been a great, life-enriching experience thus far and I expect it to continue to be that. One aspect that was particularly nice for me is that they did the searching. I was afraid to start something that might never come to fruition, so I never even tried searching myself. Also, the fact that they searched eliminated any worries I might have had about them not wanting me if I’d been searching and had been able to find them.
Of greater interest to you may be the fact that I was not the only child adopted by myJennifer Dodge adoptive parents. I also have an adopted sister, Lynn. After my family found me, I told Pamela about Lynn and asked her whether she might be able to do something for her. Lynn then asked Pamela to try finding her biological family. Pamela found Lynn’s biological mother in just two weeks. Not only did she find Lynn’s biological mother and obtain all of the applicable confirmation information, she also found a phone number for Lynn’s biological father, despite the fact that he had not married her mother and despite the fact that he now lives in Arizona (we were both born and grew up in Buffalo New York). Unfortunately for Lynn, her biological mother is not in a state of great health and Lynn has not yet been able to meet her mother because of health concerns. However, she has met her aunt and uncle and cautious moves to reunite her with her mother are being undertaken by them.
I’ve never met Pamela in person. However, the impression of her that I’ve gotten by telephone is extremely positive. We’ve kept in touch since this all happened in May of this year. She told me that she got started doing this searching stuff when she searched for her own birth parents. Her experience was not as positive as mine or Lynn’s. I think that Pamela is extremely sensitive, very generous with advice and support and will do the best she can for you. I know that one of the annoyances that my biological sister had with the original searcher was the fact that she felt she was being brushed off when she asked for progress updates and that she didn’t feel the original searcher was actually doing anything to find me. I am absolutely certain that you will be more than satisfied with the personal attention your case will get from Pamela because I believe that Pamela doesn’t just do this job for money, but because of the satisfaction she gets from her work. My impression of her is that she’s a woman with a mission and that the fee is just a nice perk. In that context, this information may also help you make a decision… My sister Lynn didn’t really have the money to pay for Pamela’s services herself, but was also loath to ask me for it.
Pamela came to an agreement with Lynn to do the search for a reduced rate. Once she found Lynn’s mother, she called me and asked me if I wanted to pay the fee because she knew it was problematic for Lynn. Of course, I had already told her I wanted to do this for Lynn. However, Pamela also passed on the reduction she’d agreed to with Lynn to me.
I wish you all the success in the world in your search and I hope that your reunion is a happy one,
When I first called Pamela she impressed me right away. Jeanne Strahley. She asked what agency I was adopted through and I said Catholic Home Bureau. She said, oh, then you were baptized through St. Edwards and born at Misacordia Hospital. I was amazed that she knew this information off the bat. I said you’re hired!
She started working on my case on a Saturday and by Wednesday I had my mother’s information in my hands. I was in shock that all my dreams of getting this information had come true. My birthmother was a reality. Pamela coached me as I made initial phone contact with my birthmother and it went great!
Without Pamela I would have never have all my questions answered. She is a miracle worker who was able to let me fill the void in my life I’ve had for the last 35 years. Pamela is a great person who is friendly, caring and easy to work with. I can’t thank her enough. My experience with Pamela has been great and has changed me forever! Thank you Pamela.
I contacted Pam earlier this year to find my birth mother. Pam was reluctant take my case and not optimistic she would find a successful outcome given the information I was able to provide. However, she thankfully agreed to take my case on. I thought the process would take a very long time if successful at all. To my shock, she found the information for me within 24 hours. It took me several months to actually do something with my information and finally write to my birth mother. She responded to me..also much quicker than I expected (as I wasn’t optimistic for a response) and was very happy to have been found. I have since met my birth mother, grandparents, and three half siblings. It has been an incredible emotional roller coaster…in a way I never expected, however also invaluable.
I feel eternally grateful for the help that Pam provided me. She not only provided me the information, she was very supportive through the process. I still feel amazed that I have the information that I now have, and it wouldn’t have been possible without her.
I honestly don’t know where to start…and if I spent as much time writing today as I spent hoping and wishing for information, answers, faces (34 years!)…it STILL wouldn’t convey the magnitude of importance that my search holds for me.
The bottom line is this; were it not for Pamela, I wouldn’t be here to write of my experiences.
Yes, 34 years of longing and wondering. 34 years in which I presumed I had thought of every possible scenario and outcome.
The fact that you are here reading this tells me you don’t need an explanation of the feelings and thoughts that came BEFORE my search. I suspect you know those feelings all too well. Rather, I will share my POST search feelings and experiences.
I was placed for adoption at birth and adopted at the age of 10 months. I was raised in a loving family (a fairy tale upbringing of sorts) and with full understanding that I had been adopted, like my older brother was before me. While my brother has shown little to no interest in doing his own search, I was determined to do so from the beginning.
Pamela was the key to making my wish become reality.
With professional demeanor and the expertise and know-how that only comes from experience, she not only conducted my search..she also brought it to an end in what to me seemed like an incredulous amount of time.
She initiated the contact and handled the entire operation from beginning to end with compassion that only a person who has “been there” can.
The short story is this;
SueMy (birth) mother passed away long ago. However, she left behind a large loving family – her own mother (whom I had been named after when I was in foster care), eight (yes, EIGHT!) siblings, and a child whom she gave birth to after me. A sister – MY sister – my BABY sister. As if this isn’t all enough, my sister lives 15 minutes away from me. The majority of the rest of the family lives within an hours drive. Wait – it gets better…. one year after finding, my sister and I decided to have DNA testing done “just to make sure” we were indeed sisters at some level. As it turns out, we are not merely sisters – we are FULL blooded sisters; we share the same father! I found BOTH sides of my family. Our father lives far away and I hope to have the pleasure of meeting him one day. But I know who he is and where he is. As a result of his second marriage, I also have a brother. The fact that my sister and most of the others live so close is miraculous enough but the other coincidences (Yes! There are ore!) are mind boggling, to say the least. Now, two years after “finding” we are continuing to build our relationship and get to know one another.
The answers I was so in need of are coming – as are new questions.SueThe process is ongoing and I cannot thank God or Pamela enough for the good fortune I’ve experienced. The entire experience has been amazing but as we begin to seetle into these new found and yet basic relationships – it’s the emotional aspect that is most profound, for all concerned parties I believe. The release of the bottled up emotions which spanned 3+ decades added to the emotions inspired as a result of a search complete is highly charged – to say the very least. Regretfully, not everybodys search ends as ideally as mine has. But for me, the search was essential regardless of what the outcome would be. To me it seems as if everything has come “full circle” for everyone touched by this. My sister and I know have each other and we like to think that our mother can finally rest in peace as a result. There are no words for the high regard in which I hold Pamela. I cannot recommend her strongly enough. Please contact me if you would like more information from me or would like more details of my reunion – I could talk about this until your ears fall off!!!!
I can be contacted at: SQUID8468@AOL.COM
Wishing you each all the best in your individual searches…
In this poignant and heartwarming narrative, renowned genealogist Pamela Slaton tells the most striking stories from her incredibly successful career of reconnecting adoptees with long-lost birth parents
After a traumatic reunion with her own birth mother, Pamela Slaton realized two things: That she wanted to help other adoptees have happier reunions with their birth families, and that she had the unique skill to do so – a strong ability to find what others could not.